What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

How is digital marketing important for business?

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

Banking data reveals early warning signs of cognitive decline in older adults - Medical Xpress

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

As an inmate did you have to live alongside a bully for your whole sentence?

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

I will be 64.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

Is depression a cause for always feeling tired?

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

Genetic variant tied to doubled dementia risk for older men - The Washington Post

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

How far does good behavior take you in a prison?

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

He knew the spot.

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

What is the best comeback you used on someone?

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

Are there any industries or sectors where ChatGPT is particularly well-suited for implementation?

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

Im dying but, im not bitter.

Which current F1 drivers should switch teams based on historical patterns?

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

Former Packers WR makes long touchdown in UFL championship - Acme Packing Company

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

I did it because my mum asked me too!

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

Is it sinful for Christians to look at beautiful women?

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

Ive learnt so much.

Have you ever been instructed/forced to crossdress for the benefit of others?

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

I could never make a relationship work though!

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

Where the ultimate outsiders.

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

And who doesn’t know suffering?

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

I was very sick at this time too.

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

All the time i was locked up.

Was to survive, this bastard.

And i lived it daily.

One cannot live in the past .

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

She wouldn,t have been !

We all went to grammer schools

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

Im still living with it.

So, i spoilt her more .

The only rule us 5 kids had .

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

Comes on , in middle age.

I think the readers, may guess!

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

As i do to all so called friends.?

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

I couldn’t, believe it.

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

But, we were locked up after school.

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

I was 9 years of age.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

She found it foreign!.

On the 31st of Jan this month .

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

They are buried together, in the same grave..

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

She loved him until the end.

Put me off passion for life!!

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

But ive been too sick for many years..

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

I have no regrets .

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

He resisted the act ,that day.

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

(And it was in our own minds.)

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

I write beautiful poetry .

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

He was dying to do it , i knew.

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

She married twice! .

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

My mum and dad in the seventies!

What did i know ?

This is how, and why children get BPD.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

Especially a lifetime of it.

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

I don,t even have a pension.

So whats the point in blame.

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

But it wasn’t much.

Would this be the day?

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

I never cut or harmed myself..

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

When she asked me how she looked .

It was going to be , some day.

I waited trembling.

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

I was seconnd youngest,

My life is so biszare .

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

This is soul school!.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

I was scared of men, in general

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

My family never makes their pension either.

I said to her

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Who then, do I blame.?

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

She was in good health!

Why did i forgive my father ?

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

We were not on the streets..

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..